Ross and I had been drinking, and we were hungry. The nearest food was Ci
rcle K, so there wasn't a lot to pick from, and this is what I ended up with. I paid $1.79 for it, and at first, it seemed like an alright deal. As you can see from the picture, I pulled it out of the package before reading that I was supposed to leave it in. I kinda shimmied it back into the plastic and put it in the microwave.
Ross is a friend of mine from highschool. He looks like Neo. Like, a lot like Neo. He doesn't dress like Neo, because that would make him a douchebag. Sometimes I call him Rostritch, or Roswell, New Mexico. His older sister is really, incredibly hot. Ross does not like corn.
Once the burrito is out of the wrapping, it looks alright. It's not all soggy or anything, but it doesn't look amazing, either. I had to let it cool a little bit, as I'm kind of a pussy. The beans have a "spicy" red sauce on them that isn't horrible at first. That's kind of a theme for this burrito; it starts out mediocre, and ends up awful. The tortilla seems pretty decent at first, not too soggy, not too dry. I haven't found any cheese yet, but maybe it's deeper inside there, right?
Ross and I had a math class together once. Our teacher sounded remarkably like Sgt. Joe Friday, and we would constantly beg him to say "Just the facts, Ma'am" for us. Not once would he do it, no matter how many times we asked. He offered to do it once if we could both go an entire week without missing an assignment, which we should have already been doing, but we totally failed at that. Then, just to rub it in, he said "Just the facts, Ma'am" on a day both Ross and I were gone, to the rest of the class. None of whom cared to hear it in the first place.
Upon further inspection, this tortilla is really gross. Look at how it's kinda tainted by the insides, and turning translucent. This thing really sneaks up on you. It starts out okay, and then shit just starts going wrong. The beans just start tasting weirder and weirder. I don't think this is at all worth the $1.79. The longer you taste it, the grosser it gets. It works with a picture, too. Take a good, long look at these pictures. The longer you take it in, the closer to smelling it, and tasting it you'll get. I'm sorry.
Ross is fun to throw bottlecaps at. I'm not sure why. Throwing a bottlecap at someone is an odd gamble. On the one hand, if you hit them, it's pretty satisfying. Especially if the cap bounces off at a high angle and kinda spins around in the air a bit after it hits. But on the other hand, if you miss, you're just some asshole who can't even throw a bottle cap.
Annoyed with the lack of cheese, I tore it open to see if there was any at all. Nope. I don't know if there's some kind of cheese I'm not aware of, that I just don't see. I looked for it, a lot, and I found nothing. And seriously, look at how gross this shit is. I know my presentation of it here isn't super flattering, but I can only do so much. I really have nothing more to say about this thing. I didn't finish eating it, and I don't suggest you start.
